said_by_me: (me and freedom)
[personal profile] said_by_me
So here is something I don't understand...

If a woman formula feeds, as a breastfeeding advocate- I am expected to still be friends with her. After all, its her choice, not mine.

If a woman is a SAHM, lives off welfare by choice without helping herself or has 10 kids before she is 25- I am expected to be friends with her, because those are her choices, not mine. Despite the fact that my life is very different and I find at least one of those things downright appalling.

Yet when it comes to the election, our political candidates and the propositions we supported or opposed- we are all supposed to either agree and hate the other side or lose friendships if we dare to disagree. Or worse, we have the opportunity to be the butts of jokes, the silent targets of rants or ridiculed, and yes, this is happening on both sides of the fence.

Its not right, its not acceptable and its no longer ok with me. The right to vote is just that. A right to cast a ballot in favor or opposition of the measures put before you. It is not a requirement that we hate the other side. Its not a requirement that we be nasty, petty and cruel. And its surely not a requirement that all people calling each other friends must vote the same way.

I understand that this proposition was emotional to many. The fact is, at least in CA, that this is the SECOND time the voters have overturned this amendment to constitution. Right, wrong or indifferent, the voters have spoken. Its time for people to understand that most supporters of Prop 8 are not bigots, homophobes, people filled with hate or brainwashed idiots. They are people that voted the way their conscience told them to. You have the right to vote purple to become the next state color if its put on the ballot, I have the right to vote green. Neither one of us is stupid or misguided, we are simply exercising our rights.

So consider this your warning. I am well aware of the innuendo, the barbs of hatred and I am done. Your journal is, and always will be, YOUR journal. I cannot make you be kind, understanding, compassionate or kind. I can, and will, remove myself from the situation though if the insults don't stop.

I love my friends but please do not mistake this caring about you as a willingness to be abused.


ETA: I have no desire to point fingers or call names. I am just asking from today forward that we all go back to being friends.
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
Oh Katie - no. It had nothing to do with that

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ewigweibliche.livejournal.com
I will continue to defend a No on Prop 8 vote, but I too don't understand why we can't have civil debate and discussion. I'm sorry that people are being nasty. I hope my political rantings aren't some of what is bothering you. I get heated by I try not name call.

The idea that friends must always vote the same way and believe the same things and have the same tastes is part of what is polarizing this country.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
You and I have always been able to discuss things like, ya know.... adults. We're cool.

Its not aimed at anyone specific really

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysamommy.livejournal.com
I hope my explanation of prop 8 to your Aussie friend didn't come off as a dig toward the way you voted. I was just trying to explain it in very simple terms because our government is pretty confusing to those that don't live here (and to those that do at times).
I agree with you about not hating each other for our beliefs. I don't have to like what you or the guy across the street voted for but that's why I also get a vote... to state my opinion. Not everyone can win. That's democracy. (Not that prop 8 affects me. I live in IL and wouldn't ever get married again even to a man. I just mean in general.)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
Nope... has nothing to do with you

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 03:06 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isarma.livejournal.com
I actually wouldn't befriend either mother you describe above. Not because I think they're awful, or anything silly like that. Simply this, I have alot of friends. I can't imagine cultivating a new friendship with someone with so little common ground. I counsel quite a bit, and I am patient and accepting. I don't have the energy for it in my free time.

Politically, I don't usually have an issue. I have friends who are all colors and stripes and vote all different ways. The Prop 8 thing is well past my line, but I think I've been respectful.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
I can't imagine cultivating a new friendship with someone with so little common ground.

Totally. When I was writing it, I was thinking more along the lines of people that I am already friends with, rather than new friends.

And yes, I agree that you have been more than respectful.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isarma.livejournal.com
I was thinking more along the lines of people that I am already friends with, rather than new friends.

Oh yeah, definitely! It's definitely been tried a time or two, but good friendship is worth quite a bit:)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
Exactly! Granted, there is less common ground and a higher potential for frustration with a mom that is outside of so many core values but the potential for love and family still there too if we stay open to it

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slinksgirl.livejournal.com
The nastiness seems to be contagious, no?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
meh I just should have c&p'd your post from a few days ago. I am finding myself defending a religion I am not a member of, being offended over things that were not said about me and in general, just very disappointed that all the election stuff is just as heated as it was 2 weeks ago.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 07:55 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] righteous-betty.livejournal.com
Well said. Shame it gets to this point when you support your friends to only be dumped on from a great height later on.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-ocean.livejournal.com
Seriously.I can't believe people lose friends over this kind of thing. My IRL friends and I know we stand on different grounds, but we love each other all the same.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rdolivaw.livejournal.com
I don't agree with, "the voters have spoken." Voters have spoke for a lot of things that were not, or should have been not, constitutional.

sometimes I can say, "sure, I get it, we're all different, we all vote differently." The thing is - choosing to formula feed only affects the child who is being fed. Voting to deprive people of inherent rights - well. That doesn't affect only yourself.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
Then I guess this is where we need to part ways.

If you can't see the correlation between agreeing to disagree on any of those 4 situations and agreeing to disagree on this one.... well, it makes me sad.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bonafidexrarity.livejournal.com
I agree, I think it's silly to be like that. I've noticed it from all over.
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 01:12 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios